Remembering Kathleen: a Firefly Story

Victoria’s words – “We need to find a way to turn Mommy’s death into something good for someone else” – rang in my ears. For a while, we checked the box by giving to various charities in Kathleen’s name. I knew a street or building could never be named for her, but something inside me said we needed to do more. I just couldn’t figure out what that was.

Throughout 2002 and 2003, my thoughts about honoring Kathleen kept percolating, but they were largely relegated to the back recesses of my brain while I went through the process of becoming a federal judge and then figured out how to actually do the job. But by 2004, I could give the idea more attention. So early that year, I decided to work with the Community Foundation of Greater New Haven to create the Kathleen A. Sullivan Fund. The idea was to help young women who didn’t have adequate financial resources go to the college of their choice or, for younger kids, to take private music lessons. I thought through the generosity of friends, maybe the endowment could reach up to $30,000. Little did I know that a series of firefly miracles was about to kick in.

Early in 2004, Victoria and I went into Manhattan to celebrate her 14^th birthday at her favorite restaurant at the time, Shun Lee Palace. While we were diving into our cold sesame noodles and General Tso’s chicken, I got a call on my cell phone from my courtroom deputy, Brandon Skolnik. He told me that he was having a few people over to his apartment that night and suggested we stop by after dinner. Since it wasn’t a school night and neither Victoria nor I had to be up early the next morning, I decided we could say hello before returning to Connecticut.

We headed over to Brandon’s apartment and rang the bell. He opened the door and welcomed us in. Almost immediately, a trio of beautiful and fit women whisked Victoria away. I smiled as my teenager disappeared into another part of the apartment. For about 15 minutes, I mingled with Brandon’s guests, wondering how Victoria was doing. I soon got my answer when a birthday cake in her honor suddenly appeared, prompting Victoria’s new friends to bring her back out to the living room. She was grinning from ear to ear, but also sneezing quite a bit – her severe cat allergy had been triggered by a furry feline that had roamed the apartment a few days before. But her runny nose and watery eyes couldn’t dampen her excitement.

The celebrants sang for Victoria, much to both of our delight. As Victoria’s allergy worsened, I gathered her for our exit. As we readied to leave, one of the women who had spent time with Victoria introduced herself to me. I thanked her for taking good care of my daughter but indicated that I was in a rush to get Victoria out of there. She smiled and said that a conversation with Victoria had prompted her to approach me.

 “She told us about the Kathleen A. Sullivan Fund,” she said. “We think we can help.”

I soon had an explanation for why there were so many beautiful people at the party – Brandon, before he became my courtroom deputy, was a professional ballet dancer and these were his ballet buddies. This woman and her friends were performers with the New York City Ballet, and they wanted to make a contribution to our nascent fund, not with money but with their feet. That offer turned into a germ of an idea. What if we put together a night of performing arts in New Haven with the proceeds going to the Kathleen A. Sullivan Fund?

We started exploring the concept, and over the course of the next several months, a plan began falling into place. Administrators at the Shubert Theater, New Haven’s venerable 1600-seat venue on College Street, allowed us to use their facility. Our new friends at the New York City Ballet enlisted principals and core members to make the trip up I-95 to perform. And Victoria’s singing group, the Elm City Girls’ Choir, also volunteered to take the stage. So we knew we’d have enough singing and dancing to fill out an evening’s performance.

We signed on a catering company to provide food and drink for the reception and silent auction after the performance. They were so taken with Victoria and her passion for the event, that they donated their services.

Meanwhile, Victoria took the lead in fundraising, because as a federal judge, I couldn’t solicit donations. She was interviewed live on TV and interviewed by the New York Times. With assistance from generous friends, we put together a plan for silent and live auctions, and Victoria used her magic touch all over town. New friends and old donated items for the silent auction. Diana Lyn Coté donated one of her beautiful paintings. Another friend offered the use of a condo for two weeks at Canyon Ranch in Arizona. Others donated expensive jewelry and electronics and more. The caterers added a cocktail party for 20 and a dinner party for 10, while the New York City Ballet put in a special edition beach towel autographed by the legendary Mikhail Baryshnikov, plus house seats to four upcoming performances.

But the most hotly contested auction item was 10 nights of Victoria’s babysitting services. Victoria was an amazing babysitter and had developed quite a reputation around town. She could have had her own TV commercials.

Can’t get your kid to sleep in their own bed. Call V!

Kid’s acting up and driving you nuts? Call V!

Uncontrollable tears got your kid down? Call V!

A silent bidding war erupted over her services, so we ended up awarding two separate sets of 10 nights which each went for $750. Yes, people paid $75 a night for three hours of Victoria’s babysitting.

In the end, the event was an incredible success. After we gave away 300 tickets to families and children, the rest of the seats sold out. Local luminaries including New Haven Mayor John DeStefano and Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal attended, and U.S. Senator Chris Dodd served as emcee for the performance. The New York City Ballet performed excerpts from eight different ballets, a program created by City Ballet principals Nilas Martins and James Fayette. Kathleen’s favorite performer, Darcy Kistler, danced the “White Swan Pas de Deux” from Swan Lake with Jock Soto, and my favorite, Wendy Whelan, also graced the stage.

Most important, we raised $580,000 for the Kathleen A. Sullivan Fund, which we then dispersed in a variety of ways: to pay for scholarships for disadvantaged children to attend music, dance and art classes in New Haven, and to become members of the Elm City Girls’ Choir; to fund a grant for a graduating Yale Law School student to work on behalf of the needy; and to fund college scholarships for graduating seniors from Wilbur Cross High School’s Elizabeth Celotto Child Care Center, which Kathleen had founded to help pregnant high school students continue their education.

The evening was not only a financial success but also a beautifully inspiring night of performing arts in the Elm City. And no one lost sight of why we were there. As Nilas Martins told the New York Times, “I know that Kathleen Sullivan loved the ballet … When I met her husband, Stephen, I got the impression that a performance like this would have been something Kathleen would wish for. It’s a beautiful thing, to have this performance in her honor.” 

Thanks to the hard work and generosity of many people, on an October night in New Haven, we were able to fulfill Victoria’s vision to turn Kathleen’s death into something good for someone else.